Little Ripper

My baby doesn't speak English but he is a valuable source of methane.  He's been dubbed "the Little Ripper" due to his loud, always audible, bowel movements.  It's quite embarrassing when you hand this perfect little boy, with new, fresh, beautiful soft skin, and that wonderful new baby smell, with a little button nose, and tiny incy wincy little fingers and toes, and he looks at you so innocently, then his face begins to contort, and out of the deep, dark, depths of Hades...RIPPPP!!!  He's not embarrassed since he doesn't speak English.  I'm the one forced to explain away  his complete disregard for societal norms.  "They told us at the hospital this was the sign of a healthy boy", or "the Doctor said he needs 10 dirtys and 8 wets a day, that was only number 9".